my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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