he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
