on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
