Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
