I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
