This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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