i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
