Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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