I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
