My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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