I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
