so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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