Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i dont even know how to be here
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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