Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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