he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
