The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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