I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
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I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
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I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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