So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
