We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
