Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
why do cheetos always look like penises
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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