Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
