your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
