How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
