Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize