Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize