I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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