White coat. Heels.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
