Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
