he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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