just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
