Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
