I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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