hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
