There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
