Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
bring money and cleavage
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
