Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize