So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
