She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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