Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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