Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
