She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
