I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
