we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
