He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
