U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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