Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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