I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
