I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
