I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just sucked dick on a ferry
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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