Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
