If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I could make wine with my vomit
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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