we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize