I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
