I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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