I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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