I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Randomize