he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
