I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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