I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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