dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i think i just lost a toe
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
