wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize