don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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